I don’t look cancery! They think it’s just another weirdo lymph node :D
I’m a bit worried. My body is not feeling normal.
Of course normal is relative when it comes to me haha.
I’ve been much more sleepy than usual. I have been falling asleep at night- which for me is weird, because my entire life sleeping at night has been a struggle. I have been fighting a sore throat/ sniffles/ etc for weeks. I have low interest in food, and it takes very little to fill me. My swallowing issues have been acting up. Sometimes I feel a like I’m breathing inefficiently. My psoriasis is going crazy. My mastectomy area has been achey. I’m actually having aches and pains all over the place.
I know it’s just a lot of little random things, but together they are very annoying.
And of course, being a cancer survivor, my mind goes right there.
I go to Moffitt on Monday for an ultrasound, because I have a suspicious lymph node.
Wish me luck :/
I don’t know if anyone who hasn’t been in this situation can understand
How hard it is to leave the house when you’ve been crushed under the weight of anxiety, depression, and endless illness
How it’s even harder when you have no access to even the smallest amount of money.
It’s terrifying to have the thought that if I go somewhere, and I somehow find myself on my own, I will be trapped
I can’t buy a soda. I don’t have bus fare. I definitely can’t take a cab home
It’s a frightening prospect to have to rely on the kindness of others, especially when my personal history has shown that others are not always so kind.
The world has rarely been kind to those like me. Why would I ever trust anything?
Here are my doggies being cute because they are my only children and I love them <3
My husband has been really curt with me since the “no babies for you” appointment. He drinks and avoids me. This makes me feel fanfuckingtastic. Don’t get married :/
Some women with PCOS if untreated develop hyperthecosis of the ovaries. The clinical features of hyperthecosis are similar to those of PCOS. However, women with hyperthecosis have more hirsutism and are much more likely to be virilized. Most women with ovarian hyperthecosis are obese and have a long-standing history of hirsutism. The hirsutism is usually severe, and most of the women shave daily. Many also have clitoral enlargement, temporal balding, deepening of the voice and a male habitus. Most have amenorrhea, and the remainder have irregular and anovulatory cycles. Some have acanthosis nigricans, suggestive of severe insulin resistance. A familial occurrence of hyperthecosis has been reported, with the mode of inheritance being consistent with an autosomal dominant pattern. Women with hyperthecosis have severe insulin resistance and do not ovulate with clomiphene treatment.
I had my venogram follow up today.
Thankfully there is no evidence of a tumor. They are positive I have ‘ovarian hyperthecosis’, which is like an extreme form of pcos.
It is very unlikely that I can produce eggs at all, so the vague biological child hope is out the window. Disappointing but not surprising. Carrying a pregnancy would be risky and complicated, and even trying to harvest eggs would be problematic.
My choices now (regarding the hormone issue) are to either try some monthly shots that will suppress the ovaries so they quit inundating me with testosterone, or to have them removed. The shots are like $500-600 a month, if insurance covers it I’ll try that. Not sure if I’m ready to remove the ovaries and tip completely into menopause yet.
There is a third option, which is to do nothing. The effects of the testosterone are tiring and discouraging though, and getting worse, so it would be nice to get relief from that.
In any case, we are VERY relieved there are no tumors!
what really sucks is when you know you should be doing something but physically cannot bring yourself to do it no matter how important doing that thing is